Bruises, belly laughs, and Big Sur
I went to Esalen this month for what I was certain was a yoga retreat. The listing said "Yoga and Divine Play," and I pictured five days of sun salutations and green juice, coming home a full crunchy granola hippie.
Instead I came home a clown.
I mean that literally. Divine Play turned out to be a guided group practice that uses play, breath, and movement to pull you out of your head and back into your body, and somewhere in that process you find your inner clown. I know how that sounds. I would have rolled my eyes too.
The days had a rhythm I fell completely in love with. I stayed in a yurt. Mornings started with breakfast in the food hall, where they turn the wifi off during meals so people actually talk to each other, eating food grown right there on the property. Then an hour of asana, a short break, an hour of Divine Play, and a long open lunch. Afternoons were free, and free time meant the hot mineral spring tubs perched above the ocean, clothing optional, which in practice meant everyone bare and soaking and laughing together. By the end of the week I had a name for it: clown soup. Then back for another hour of play, an hour of yin yoga to come down, dinner, and a free night that, more often than not, ended back in those tubs under the stars.
It was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. It healed something childlike in me that I didn't know was still waiting to be healed. I laughed harder than I have in years. It felt like the summer camp I never got to go to as a kid, and I came home with actual bruises and scrapes, the kind you earn from a long day of playing and not caring about anything else. I'm already signed up to go back this fall.
If spring was about blooming, this was about remembering how to play. I didn't expect those to be the same lesson. They are.
And that lesson followed me home, with a decision attached. I'm downsizing my apartment in Los Angeles and taking a second place in the Bay. Starting this summer, I'll be splitting my time equally between the two cities.
The Bay has quietly become a second home to me. I love the outdoors culture, the food, the architecture, and most of all the pace, which somehow lands right in the middle, never too fast and never too slow. Choosing less in LA to make room for more up north feels like the most natural thing in the world right now. It's the lightness I brought back from Big Sur, made literal. Fewer things to carry, more room to move, and the chance to play on a bigger scale. More friends. New places. A whole second city to fall for. I'm genuinely thrilled, and I am so ready for it.
And for those of you in the Bay Area, this changes things. I won't be passing through anymore. I'll be home.
One lighter note before I tell you where to find me. I came back from all of this more at home in my own body than I've been in years, and it showed at my shoot with Hello Miss. Easy, effortless, genuinely fun. We got an unreal number of shots in a short window, the kind of day where everything simply works. It made me want to book the next one immediately, so I did. There's another in July. If you'd like custom images shot just for you, this is your moment. Sponsor the next shoot and tell me exactly what you want to see.
Where you'll find me
Palo Alto, June 4. A quick stop before I fly out.
Nashville, June 4 to 8. My first time ever. I'm visiting my dear friend Colette Deevon, the one who first brought me into this work. Long overdue.
Mexico City, June 24 to 29. Unavailable.
New York and Montauk, July 19 to 29. Summer on the East Coast. Come find me out there.
Los Angeles and San Francisco. As of this summer, home in both, split evenly between them.
Fly me to you. Tell me where you are. I'll tell you when I can be there.
You've been reading these for a while, so you already know how to find me. The people who actually do it don't overthink it. They notice the moment and they move. Big Sur reminded me that the best things tend to happen the moment you stop waiting and start playing. There are two cities to find me in now, and starting this summer I'm home in both, not just passing through. If you're in LA or the Bay and you've been waiting for the right time, this is it.